Dear Bloggy,

I'm in a band with some good friends of mine and we're starting to get more professional, gigs, studio time, that sort of thing. The problem is that one of us, I'll call him J, hasn't really applied his talent like the rest of us. The other guys in the band have noticed and we've started talking about replacing J. The problem is, J's our friend and we don't just want to fire him, but we also want to move on with our careers. What should we do? Let him down easy, cut and run, or wait in the hopes that he gets better?

-B

 

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Bloggy,

A friend of mine is in pretty dire straits. Her relationship with her husband has been shaky for years now and she told me recently that she wants to leave him. She doesn't work because she has to take care of her son full-time (he's 2). So, she doesn't really have anywhere to go if she does leave. I was wondering if I should offer to let her and her son stay with me while she tries to get on her feet. I live alone and while my place isn't a palace, there should be room enough for all of us. Is this crazy, or do I have a responsibility as a friend?

-CJ

 

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Bloggy,

Because you're always asking for ages and specifics, I'll do my best here. I'm a 20-year-old guy going to college in (city redacted). I didn't start school until this year. I basically woke up one day last week and realized that I have no social life. I go to class, I have a job and I pretty much just stay at home. I live a bit off-campus in an apartment. It's quiet and everything, but I guess that's my problem. I really don't know how to meet people and it's really starting to bug me. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

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Dear Bloggy,

So, my girlfriend just dumped me, which sucks. The reason I'm writing isn't because I want to get her back, I don't, but because of something she said. One of the reasons she said she broke up with me is because I smoke pot. Is that really a reason to dump someone? Or was she just pulling excuses?

-F.

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Hello, advice-seekers and advice-readers. Here in Seattle we're in the middle of Pride Week, culminating in the annual Pride Parade this Sunday. Running with that theme, I figured the following question would be apropos.

Bloggy,

I'm a single father with a 14-year-old son. We share a computer and a couple weeks ago I found some porn websites in our search history. I know this has pretty much become par for the course in parenting and the fact that it's porn isn't why I'm upset. What concerns me is that a lot of it had homosexual themes. I had no idea my son might be gay until now. If he is, I want him to know that I support him. Should I approach him about this? If yes, then how do I broach the topic?

-Concerned Dad

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Bloggy,

I'm a 26-year-old man and I'm deeply in love with a 25-year-old woman. I'd like to ask her to marry me, but there's one thing that makes me hesitate. She and I grew up with very different religions. Her family was very strict and basically fundamentalist, while mine was pretty moderate. As a result, she has some strong negative feelings about religion and doesn't want it in her life. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, except that I know I'd like to have kids one day. I don't know if I would be comfortable raising my children in a home without faith. Am I right to have second thoughts about marrying this otherwise wonderful woman, or am I making a big deal out of nothing?

-Unholy Mess

 

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Here's my question, Bloggy. I've been with this guy for nearly six months and things are going pretty good, i.e. no major alarms yet. Lately he's been talking about doing something for our six-month anniversary, like going on a vacation together. His family has this cabin up in (location redacted) and he just keeps on talking about it. So my question is, is it too fast to going away together?

-Chili Con Fused

 

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Bloggy,

I am a 19-year-old female, college freshman and a virgin. I'm the only one of my friends who hasn't had sex yet and it's kinda starting to bug me. How will I know when I'm ready? Sometimes I just want to go and get it over with.

-Anon.

 

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Alright, Bloggy. Here's the situation. I grew up in a podunk little town and I got out as soon as I could. I've been in a new city for about a year and everything's been going great. Recently my dad's been looking for a new job and it looks like there's an opening in my city. I love my folks and everything, but I feel like if they move here then they'll just start crowding my life. So, should I tell them this or would that just be a really dickish thing to do? -Ben

Ah, parents. I feel for you, Ben. I really do. One of the most difficult social situations in life is when parents and children have to learn how to interact with one another when the children aren't really children anymore. Boundaries need to be renegotiated, terms have to be re-defined and everyone has to learn to approach everyone else with mutual respect but not without at least paying lip service to due reverence. Many conflicts between parents and their grown children result from perceived insubordination or in your case, Ben, intrusion.

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Bloggy, I'm at the end of my rope. I just don't get it. How can there not be a single, solitary guy out there who likes big girls? What's the problem? I don't believe it's a health issue, I don't even think it's logical. Are guys so easily influenced by society that they only want skinny, little girls? -Jannie

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