Dear Bloggy,

I just got married several months ago to the mother of my first child. We didn't live together prior to marriage and now I'm finding she has no domestic skills and no desire to learn any. After working all day, I do the cooking and cleaning. She does take care of our son, but he's 3 and I do think she could run a household at the same time. Is it no longer fashionable for women to learn how to manage a home? My mom was a stay-at-home mother who was an amazingly efficient house manager.... so maybe this is coloring my expectations.

Anyway, what is the best way to ask my wife to start pulling her weight without ruining the marriage,

Signed,

Stuck in a dirty home with a slob.

Dear Stuck in a Dirty Home with a Slob,

First, let's acknowledge that raising a young child is very stressful. Women of today are not their mothers and may elect to reject gender roles, such as homemaker, cook, laundry attendant and maid. Nevertheless,  someone has to take charge of the mundane household chores -- and it shouldn't be exclusively you. Sounds like a new division of labor is in order -- complete with a calendar that lists who's responsible for what and on what day.

Humorous Idea: Watch the old movie "Mr. Mom" together. As you two laugh at how the father tries to handle all the chores, tell your wife that's how your feel -- and that you're even more stressed because you have an outside job!

Dramatic idea: Abandon your duties and let the house sink into disarray. This will surely prompt complaint from her. That's the perfect time to suggest a new plan.

Loving Idea: Buy your wife a special gift and set up a romantic evening. As she opens her gift, have a marker attached to it. Say it's for creating a dry erase board listing her household tasks because you love her so much that you want her to be your equal in everything.

Thanks for writing,

Bloggy