I'm a 25-year-old guy and I'm feeling this financial crisis just like a lot of people today. While I'm on the job hunt I'd still like to pay my bills, so I've been looking for some ways to make a quick buck. So, I've been thinking about taking part in some medical testing and also donating sperm. I'm still not sure these are things I want to do, so some advice would be nice.

-Matt

A lot of folks are under the strain of the current money mess in the United States and other parts of the world and not having steady work can really get a person into one of several unpleasant states of being. Medical testing and sperm donation are definitely ways to make some green while you're looking for a more sustainable source of income, but there are some things you should definitely consider before you take that leap.

First, medical testing is serious business. The reason medications and procedures need to undergo years of extensive clinical trials is because the companies that invent them can't be entirely certain of what they might do to a human being. The chances of you growing a third arm or developing a sentient rash are pretty slim, but you can't discount the inherent risks of putting unusual chemicals into your body. Medical testing does pay rather well, as much as $500-$1000 per overnight study, but there are some realities you should consider before taking part.

For a quick example, say you're a subject in a test for a new over-the-counter pain relief pill. If the test is to determine any side-effects of the medication over an eight-hour period, you won't be playing ping pong and snacking on popcorn with other participants for that period. It's more likely that you'll be sitting in a single seat in an open room for eight straight hours to minimize the impact of outside forces on the effects of the medication. If you do an overnight study, there will be a variety of other restrictions as well. Sorry, there's no such thing as being paid $20 an hour to play X-Box while doctors stare at you.

As for sperm donation, that's a significantly more pleasant procedure but it's still more complicated than it sounds. No clinic is going to pay you a few hundred dollars to walk in off the street and deposit some of your DNA into a cup. The more common process involves making an appointment with the clinic, going through some physical exams and probably even filling out a questionnaire and taking an IQ test. You can thank the Nobel Committee for that one. They toyed with a "genius sperm bank" some decades ago that eventually got dismissed as an experiment in eugenics, but modern sperm banks still employ the method.

If you meet the bank's standards, you'll probably have to submit up to three free samples of your genetic material for analysis to make sure you produce enough gametes and are generally healthy in that department. At that point, the clinic will determine whether or not you're an acceptable candidate for donation. If the answer is yes, then you'll have the opportunity to be paid for the time you spend excising your swimmers. You actually can't be paid for the material itself, as per US law, but you'll be compensated well for your time.

I'm not trying to dissuade you from doing either of these things, Matt, but I do want you to be informed about what each decision entails. There are also some long-term issues you ought to consider before taking the dive. Aside from the usual unforeseeable problems created by new medication long after use, you should do your best to process the fact that your sperm can and will be used in invitro fertilization. Like it or not, you may become a father as a result of your donation. Not a legally culpable father or even an involved one, but a father nonetheless.

Good luck on the job hunt, Matt, and I hope you come to a decision about your body's potential to make you money through science.