I’ve been working for the same company almost 6 years.  I enjoy my job but I feel isolated at work.  My coworkers are constantly trying to blame me for mistakes made by other departments.  The people in my department area always going out for lunch or ordering in without inviting me or asking if I want to order anything.  Even my boss isolates me by taking everyone in our department out to lunch without asking me or when she knows I have plans.  I can’t afford to quit and I just don’t know what to do about the situation.

-Leigh

Dealing with workplace stress is bad under normal circumstances.  With the economy and job market being so bad, quitting any job without a backup is never a good idea.  However, that doesn’t mean you can’t leave your job once you find a new one.

If your coworkers and boss have been isolating you for years, it might be time to start looking for a new place of employment.  Start working on your resume and begin discretely applying to other jobs that will pay as much, or more, than your current job.  I know you mentioned you love your job, but if the behavior of your fellow workers is causing you distress it might be time for a change.  Remember, your new job might have work conditions or coworkers that are no different than the ones you are currently dealing with.

Confront the Problem

Try talking to your boss about some of your concerns.  While your boss can’t make other coworkers include you in their lunchtime activities, he or she can make sure you are included in any company sponsored excursions.  Arrange a time to meet with your boss and find out why he or she never invites you to have lunch with coworkers.  Let your boss know how excluded this makes you feel, and ask to be included in the future.  Also, talk to your coworkers and ask them to let you know when they are planning to order in since you wouldn’t mind ordering food yourself.  Sometimes, coworkers will exclude you because they mistakenly believe you don’t like spending time with them outside of the office.

When talking to your boss doesn’t work consider going over their head and talking to an administrator or other employee who your boss answers to.  If you are being excluded from company sponsored lunches (especially when they are used to conduct meetings) other company administrators may be willing to deal with the problem on your behalf.

I hope you are able to find a solution to this problem that decreases your stress without affecting your employment status.  Dealing with workplace isolation can create unnecessary stress, and I truly hope the situation gets under control soon.