A Latin Lesson

Here's my question, Bloggy. I've been with this guy for nearly six months and things are going pretty good, i.e. no major alarms yet. Lately he's been talking about doing something for our six-month anniversary, like going on a vacation together. His family has this cabin up in (location redacted) and he just keeps on talking about it. So my question is, is it too fast to going away together?

-Chili Con Fused

Before we get into the meat of your question, Chili, let's have a quick language lesson. The word "anniversary" means "once a year". Specifically, it's the combination of two Latin words, annus which means "year" and versus which means "turn". Put them together and you have "the turn of a year". There is no such thing as a six-month anniversary any more than there is 1000-foot mile.

I'm being a stickler about this linguistic curiosity out of a concern for more than snobbery. Plainly, grown-ups don't recognize anniversaries that come more often than once a year. Having a six-month anniversary is born of the same mindset that compels small children to announce themselves as "six and a half years old". It's a way to artificially inflate the quality of a relationship, as if creating arbitrary milestones somehow strengthens your commitment to one another.

That said, you don't really need an excuse to go on a vacation with your boyfriend. Although I would appreciate some more relevant details. Your respective ages, for one thing, would make a huge difference in my advice. Let's say you're both 18-year-old college kids. In that case, there are some things to consider before jetting off to a family cabin, not the least of which is your level of emotional and physical involvement with this guy. Things can get more than a little awkward in the middle of a romantic getaway if you two aren't on the same page in one or both of those topics.

If, on the other hand, you're both in your 30's, I'd say that your trepidation about going on vacation with your boyfriend has more to do with your doubts about the relationship itself. A lot of people preface complaints about a dissolving relationship with phrases like, "Everything is great, but..." or "S/he's wonderful, except..."

Had I a third hand, I'd probably use it to weigh the pros and cons of a situation in which you and your boyfriend aren't similar ages. If he's older than you by a significant number of years, you may feel pressured to jump into situations that are heavier than you can handle right now. If he's significantly younger than you, then you might be the one creating pressure for him.

Finally, it would be great to know if you are a guy or a girl, for one reason specifically. If you're gay and in a long-term relationship, it makes a big difference if one or both of you aren't completely out yet. Keeping secrets makes relaxing very difficult, so it probably isn't a good idea to hide away in some cabin with all of the building tension.

The moral of this story/advice request is that different circumstances can dramatically change how to approach a given situation. Also, there's no need to be vague when writing in to an anonymous advice column.