Bloggy,

I am a 19-year-old female, college freshman and a virgin. I'm the only one of my friends who hasn't had sex yet and it's kinda starting to bug me. How will I know when I'm ready? Sometimes I just want to go and get it over with.

-Anon.

How will you know when you're ready to become sexually active, Ms. Anonymous? Well, first I'll give you the obligatory non-answer: It's different for everybody. One person's experience isn't likely to be the same as another's, yadda yadda. Now, for the real answer, which is to say the one with practical information that works for everybody. I don't know enough about you from a short paragraph to say how you, personally, can get into the right head space for sexual activity. Of course, if you were 15 instead of 19, my answer would be different and I'd just tell you to hold off for a few years (and get some new friends). At your age and in your situation (college), sex is something that happens frequently and it's not a bad place for it, at least in theory. Here's what I suggest you do to prepare yourself:

First, get educated. Your local chapter of Planned Parenthood is a great place to start. Sex can be a wonderful thing as long as you go about it with a responsible mindset. While you're at Planned Parenthood, pick up some safe sex materials, i.e. condoms and learn how to use them. While it's my personal belief that all men with active or potential sex lives ought to always be in possession of condoms, the world would be an even better place if women in the same situation adopted that responsibility as well.

Next (and this the hard part) stop actively looking around for sex. This is advice I save just for the virgins. Any person's first sexual experience should be a positive one and there are ways to make a good first time more likely, though it's never 100% certain. The best way is to make sure the person with whom you first have sex is someone you actually like and who likes you right back. Don't give your virginity to a stranger and don't make it a one-night fling. While there's nothing inherently wrong with having flings, I wouldn't suggest one in your situation.

Because you've never had sex before, you don't know how it's going to make you feel, emotionally as well as physically. Sharing that experience with someone who has a real concern for your well-being is the best way to keep yourself from being hurt.

There's a lot of pressure out there for young people to become sexually active. There has been since the beginning of human civilization. People get so caught up in the "Should I?/Shouldn't I?" question that they rarely ever ask the more important questions, like "How should I?" and "With whom should I?" that will ultimately determine what kind of first experiences they have. So, Anonymous and all you other eager virgins out there, be sure to do it right if you're going to do it at all.