June 2010

  • 10 Reasons Why Women Won’t Leave Jerks, Part II

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    7. You think this is a normal relationship.

    This actually touches back on reason #10. People who grow up witnessing abusive relationships between parents, caregivers, relatives, and anyone else in their lives as children—or who’ve only experienced such kinds of relationships overall in their lives—believe that this is a normal way for two grown adults to behave.

    It is not. Real, loving relationships are based on mutual respect; people who love each other do not purposely hurt one another like this.

    6. You are scared of him.

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  • 10 Reasons Why Women Won’t Leave Jerks

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    You’ve seen it before. You may have even experienced it yourself. A friend or other loved one is in a relationship with a real piece of work. This is a guy who constantly disrespects her, treats her badly, calls her horrible things, and maybe even physically abuses her. She makes excuses for him when he wants to control everything she does, insults her in front of her friends, or leaves marks that makeup cannot conceal.

    You try to get her to leave him with everything you have in you. You care about her so much that you wish you could just pluck up the jerk and put him in another country so she won’t even be tempted to be with him. But you can’t change her (just like she can’t change him—but more about that later.) She has to want to change herself.

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  • How to Be An Ally

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    The "A" in QLTBAG is often said to stand for Ally; sometimes it also stands for Asexual. There are a lot of people who identify as an ally who also identify as heterosexual. That's great, it really is, and there's a lot a straight ally can do in terms of supporting human rights for all. But sometimes, inadvertently and unthinkingly, a straight ally makes it really uncomfortable for those who identify as one of the minorities in the letter soup of human relationships.

    Here are some things to keep in mind about being an ally, especially in the context of commenting on posts on That Gay Blog, whose primary audience is made of up people who identify as part of the QLTBAG:

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